Life is tough for the pasty, freckled women of the world. No matter how hard we try to get tan we just burn, freckle and mole. I have so many moles you can actually play connect the dots on my back. I remember being in elementary school and being so self conscious about my pale skin that I would sneak into my mothers bathroom in the morning and put her expensive Lancôme Foundation on my legs to make them appear somewhat tan. That didn’t last long, my foundation stained white socks gave me away and my dream of being tan was once again shattered. I dreamed of the day when my fair, purple splotched skin would be in style.

Ya, never going to happen!

My only option, other than orange spray-tanned legs, was nylons. I want to suffocate just thinking about wearing nylons, so through the years I have just come to terms with my whiteness and have learned to embrace it. Well ladies, not anymore!

I recently took a trip with my girlfriends to Los Angeles, we were in the heart of Hollywood and I naturally wanted to look my best  so I purchased my $60 tanning lotion and went in the “Best” tanning bed for the maximum amount of time. I prayed for the deepest, darkest tan the entire 15 minutes. Later that afternoon I discovered that I only burned on the back half of my body. I was half maroon, half white. Wonderful. I was now forced to wear jeans the ENTIRE trip!  Ughh…

After a long road trip we finally arrived at our Haunted Hotel, the Roosevelt Hollywood Hotel, and started getting ready for a night out on the town. I was devastated because I really wanted to wear my new dress but I was so embarrassed about my legs. My girlfriend suggested I try her “Spray-on Nylons”. I figured what the heck, even if its like the orange spray-on tan it’s a step up from my two toned, candy cane legs! I went into the bathroom and I sprayed the Sally Hansen Airbrush Leg makeup on my hands- she said to do it for 30 seconds but it was super cold and I couldn’t handle it for that long. It spattered a bit in the sink but it came out  with some soap and water. The makeup was bubbling in my hand,  I quickly rubbed it all over my legs and within second my legs were a beautiful shade of  tan- something I have never experienced in my WHOLE life! It went on evenly and my legs were absolutely flawless, even on my knees, ankles and toes! If you have ever tried a spray on tan you know these areas are the worst to work with. The Airbrush leg makeup dried within 60 seconds and I was able to put my dress on without getting anything on it, it even disguised my little varicose veins I had on the back of my calf!

I was officially in love! The next day I RAN to the local CVS Pharmacy and picked up my very own bottle of  Tan Glow- Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs for only $13.49! Normally I would have to go with the lightest shade but the Tan Glow looks beautiful, and real! No more varicose veins, or purple splotches to worry about on my pasty legs. Hooray!

When I came home from my vacation all my neighbors commented on my “tan”, normally I would let them  believe that it was a real Sun-Kissed California Tan but I was so excited about this new product I HAD to tell them. Needless to say, all the ladies in my building  have a certain “glow” about them now!

More importantly, my self confidence is through the roof. I no longer stress about how my skin looks, or if people are grossed out by the color(s) of my legs. Where was this product when I was growing up!?! It would have saved my poor mother a fortune on her foundation! Now I just sit and stare at my legs and admire how flawless they look! Now if I could only get them to grow a few inches? Hmmm…

Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs Pros

• Smooth, Flawless, Sexy Legs in 60 Seconds or less!
• Available in 4 Shades to match Every Skin Tone: Light Glow, Medium Glow, Tan Glow and Deep Glow
• Gives a Natural looking Tan- No Orange skin!
• Water-Resistant
• Weightless
• No more Panty Hose!
• Water-Resistant and Lasts All Day
• Contains Vitamin K to Cover and Fade Freckles, Veins and Imperfections
• Reduces Visibility of Cellulite, Vericose Veins, and Freckles.
• Washes off with Soap, Water and a Towel
• Affordable

Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs Cons

• Really Cold when you spray into your hands
• Splatters a bit when you spray,  so be sure to spray into a bathroom sink
• Be sure your legs are COMPLETELY dry before putting your clothes on! I put my white dress on before my legs were dry and it left a stain. I have washed it and used Oxy Clean and Bleach to get it out and it is still there- but slightly lighter!

Sally Hansen AirBrush Legs In Action

The best place to purchase

Sally Hansen products are sold at almost every Grocery or Drug Store on the planet.

I found it for as little as $10.40 on Amazon.com but it can also be purchased locally at these fine establishments:

CVS Pharmacy $13.49

Fast Weight Loss w/o The “Crappy” Side Effects

I was cleaning out my medicine cabinet/diet pill stash and came across a bottle of  72 Hour Slimming Pill. I had completely forgotten that I had purchased it. Swimsuit season is here and the pools have opened so I thought it would be the perfect time to test out this bad boy!

If you come across any type of 72 hour or 3 day diet pills keep in mind that you will not be getting permanent results. These type of products are quick Detoxes usually meant to jump-start your diet or weight-loss program. They are ideal if you are in a hurry to drop 5-10 pounds.

Orovo 72 Hour Slimming Pill has a unique, powerful formulation that will help detoxify and cleanse your body in 3 days.  It contains some of Mother Natures Best ingredients:

• Vitamin B6
• Magnesium
• Potassium Citrate
• Dandelion Root
• Uva Ursi
• Buchu Leaves
• Juniper Berry
• Cornsilk
• Couch Grass
• Parsley
• Stinging Nettle
• Cranberry 25:1
• Cayenne Pepper
• Ginger
• Milk Thistle

I usually try to lose as much weight as I can when  take a product. I continue to exercise and eat as best as I can in order to get the Maximum results. For the next three days I plan on eating whatever I want and I will not exercise at all. I want to see how much weight I can lose on a detox program without doing a thing! My goal is to lose 5 pounds, I am hoping Orovo’s 72 Hour Slimming Pill will get rid of my “food baby” bloat and flatten my belly.

Day One

I weighed in at 112.7 a 4 pound weight gain from my  non-stop weekend! My new purple 2-piece won’t be leaving my closet any time soon! I took 5 pills before breakfast and I feel great, no side effects- only  frequent potty breaks (#1, not #2)

Before taking my 2nd dose at 3pm I weighed myself. It had only been a few hours and I had already lost 1.4 pounds! I was thrilled with my results! I will weigh myself first thing in the morning and hopefully all this peeing will continue to pay off on the scale!

Day 2

I hopped on the scale as soon as I got out of bed, I was anxious to see what day 2 had to bring! I weighed in at 110.9, I had lost .4 pounds. Not what I had anticipated but I will take it! Keep in mind I have not exercised and I have been eating horribly the last two days, it is a miracle I am losing weight at all. This stuff REALLY works!

I came home for lunch to weigh myself. It is about 1pm, and I am not really expecting much. To my surprise I lost 1 whole pound! I cannot believe that I lost 1 pound in 5 hours! At this point I am optimistic that I will be able to reach my 5 pound weight loss goal!

Day 3

Today is the last day of my 72 Hour experiment! I wish I could do this a whole week but the instructions say to wait a whole month before doing another round. I weighed in this morning at about 8 am. I am happy to report that I lost .2 pounds!

Instead of weighing in in the afternoon I decided to wait until the next morning to get an accurate calculation of my total weight loss. I have been averaging about 1.5 pounds per day so I am really hoping to reach my target weight of 108 pounds. My final weigh in was this morning and my weight is 109.4-  I am a little bummed that I didn’t get to 108:(

Final Verdict

In the last 72 hours I have lost a grand total of 3.3 pounds. Not quite my goal of 5 pounds. I think if I had exercised as I normally do and watched what I ate I would have done MUCH better. But my intention was to see how much weight  I could lose without doing ANYTHING and 3.3 pounds is still a little victory in my book! I averaged 1.1 pounds per day- which is still AWESOME!

Hopefully the weight will stay off, with most detoxes it doesn’t so I’m not holding my breath! At this point I have less than 2 pounds to get to my goal weight!

Next month I might  try 72 Hour Slimming Pill but do the other extreme and stick to a 1500 calorie diet and work out for 1-2 hours.

For the Best Deal I recommend purchasing directly from 72 Hour Slimming Pill for only $12.99

Try it out for yourself, and Post your results Here!

It’s March and It’s time to review another Diet Pill. If you haven’t heard of Alli then you have probably been living under a rock for the last few years! It’s all over TV and you can’t help but find it at every drug store on the planet.  I caved and picked up a bottle in January- there were about a bazillion bottles at my Costco. I figured I may as well join the Alli cult- all the cool kids were doing it! Plus, if it didn’t work  Costco would refund me, Costco has the BEST return policy! I don’t think Alli has  a money back guarantee (and now I know why!)

It’s  March and I purchased Alli in January, why has it taken so long for me to write this review, you ask? Well, I went home and “googled” alli, and I was so frightened at what I read:

“Treatment Effects” include:

“Oily loose stools, fecal incontinence, frequent or urgent bowel movements and flatulence.”

I put my googling skills to use and also found out that “90% of people have experienced at least one gastrointestinal related side effect during the first year.” But don’t worry, only “36% of people experienced gastrointestinal effects during their 4th year of taking Orlistat (the main ingredient in Alli)”

Is this for real? What an awful trick to play, the FDA FINALLY approves a diet pill and it happens to be one that it will make you shit your pants!?

The only way to avoid a “shitty” situation was to follow a really strict, low fat diet. If anything were to keep me motivated to eat better it would be the fear of oily, loose stools and fecal incontinence! I pretty much eat like a rabbit, but I do enjoy a treat every once in a while.  Alli was really going to test my will power, and humility.

Now is your chance to STOP reading, I fully give you permission to click the “X” button on your web browser, you may be grossed out at what you are about to read:

Day 1. I reluctantly took my first dose of alli, it is Friday, and I am housebound so if anything happens, a toilet is close by! I weighed in at  123 lbs. At about lunch time, I started getting hungry. I made a veggie wrap, added my favorite honey mustard dressing to it, it was delicious,! Filling? Not so much.  Again, I was at home, all alone, scared to death to go out in public- I knew as soon as I did I would totally release something foul, it’s just my luck. So, of course I am bored out of my mind. I had no desire to get any work done so  I  decided to catch up on all my TV shows on my DVR…. and snacked.

Well, now I know why they say not to eat in front of the tv- you unconsciously eat WAY more than you normally would. An hour or so goes by and I have to pee. I slightly bend forward to get up and you guessed it! A little pooped leaked out! Shit, is this for real?? It’s mid way through day 1 and I’m already crapping my pants! Never were the words, “Oh shit” more appropriate.

Day 2. I weighed myself early in the morning, with everything that came out of me the first day Im sure I lost at least 3 pounds. Nope. I was 125. I stepped off the scale, nudged it a little to the left (sometimes I weigh less when I do this.) I stepped back on and it still said 125. The only thing keeping my scale from flying out the window was the fear of sharting my pants from too much exertion. I knew if I grunted ever so slightly, poo would be running down my pasty legs. My legs are in desperate need of some color, but that is not the route I want to take!

I found a website with “alli recipes” and today I was going to stick with it, I had to take dinner to a neighbor and the last thing I wanted was to leave an oily spot on her sofa! Saturday was much more productive than Friday, I only had to shower once my house was spotless, and dinner was in the oven! I was able to deliver her meal without any embarrassment. I had hope that the whole shart thing was just a “day-one” thing! I weighed myself right before bed and I was still 125- I was content with that, I normally weigh 2-3 pounds more at night.

Day 3.  I was excited to hop on the scale, I’m sure I had to be 2-3 pounds lighter! I wait a second for the numbers to show up on the scale, I prayed for 120  and I was 124. Boo! only 1 pound. I ate so good the day before, I am so confused? Why am heavier than when I started? Duh, I haven’t worked out in like 4 days! That is  obviously why I haven’t lost any weight! Why not add some exercise? I didn’t have any accidents all day yesterday- I should be fine running a few miles, right?

WRONG!!!! SO, SO WRONG!!!!

I will spare you the details, but lets just say I am glad I followed alli’s advice and avoided wearing light colored pants! At this point the FDA can shove it. FDA approved means shit me me- literally! Come Monday, I am taking alli back to Costco. It is not worth it! I would rather be a a fat ass than have to worry about my bowels constantly!

Day 4. I dressed inconspicuously, wore dark sunglasses and my favorite cap, and  successfully returned my alli to Costco. The Customer Service guy was kind enough not to ask me why I was returning it, although I am sure he knows why. I could tell he was trying not to smile the entire time!

This was by far the WORST diet pill experience of my life! I would rather have my heart racing and suffer from insomnia than go through that again. I’d take Phen-Fen over alli any day! I’d rather die of a heart attack than be caught with an oily poo-stain on my favorite pair of skinny jeans!

AVOID ALLI LIKE THE PLAGUE!